Joey

Because I'm missing 5 rehearsals, the directer of a summer play couldn't give me the lead role she wanted to; I am left understudying that role, and with a smaller role that I love, but I still harbour a yearning for my favourite part. The actress chosen for that part is... lacking.

My mother: "Would you like me to push her down a flight of stairs for you?"
Male Lead #1: "You should be HER understudy." "I'd rather play this with you."
Male Lead #2: "If you like, I can fudge the sword fight and accidentally cut off her head for you."
The Director: "Wow, you're really getting this character and making a meal out of it. Good for you!"
Casting Director: "You're very good! You have a magnificent voice - you should really persue acting, you know. I'm so sorry you can't get this part."
Other Female Lead: "Uhm... no offense to her, but... you're a lot better. I can tell even in your small role."

Even if I can't have it, and even though it's at her expense, I'm still guiltily happy about all of these. :)

Dear band boosters,

( Cut for length... )

Dear all scheming, worthless, feeling-know-it-all fuckers especially Big-Head Girl,

YOU SUCK AND YOU ARE FAILURES. You do not fucking deserve your position.

Fall of a cliff and die!

HATE,
ME

P.S: SHE WILL BE TWICE THE HEAD YOU ARE.

Dear Mother,
We have 14 hours of hell coming on. We don't get along, but Jesus Christ PLEASE stop whining.

xoxo
Me

Dear Firefox,

I'm not sure how to describe your antics right now, but whatever you're doing, please stop. It took me thirteen clicks and two refreshes to get here. How come you've decided that when I click a link to a picture, you bring me to my homepage, or you don't go anywhere at all?

Baffled,
Me.

a little boy I was babysitting yesterday.  He's absolutely adorable, and I thought it was really cute. 

Dear Stalker:

I find it convenient that since I've my myspace profile private I now get "You are locked out for 15 minutes due to too many failed login attempts"  messages.  1. That shit's annoying, I just want to check my comments.  2. Seriously?  Cause last I checked I graduated high school 5 years ago.

You're probably my creepy ex.  And if that's so, go die in a fucking ditch.

Unphased:
Arielle

Dear 2 weeks till I start my new job:

Go faster now kthx

Love:
Almost employed  

a friend just said, i'm glad to have found you. i know our friendship will last till death do us part. goodnight and dream a lil dream of me! love u loads.

i am just very happy that i've got to knw her and knw that she will be there for me and everytime i see her, i will say a lil prayer, thanking god for bringing her to me.

i believe that in our lives, god have given us all angels, and she is one of the angels god have given me. 

Dear Friend,
We are normally on ok terms. We stay on our own turfs you know? I stick with the guys I like, you with the guys you like. Me with my music, you with yours.
But don't you dare come to my house and fucking critisize guys I like or my music. We have both established that we are diffrent; that's why we've fought so many times in the past. But now I think you're forgetting.
And when a guy I like calls do not tell me you don't find his voice attractive. And don't later say "I see why you like him." Yes, I see why I like him too: now fuck off.
Then when you think I'm asleep at 2 in the morning and you're still on the phone phone with my friend after I've given you and him many hints that you are pissing me off don't talk about me. I heard you and I almost kicked you out of my room.

Call me Jealous but you know I get jealous when it comes to him. And I bet you anything he'll not call me tonight but you instead.
Want to know why?
Because you're a whore.


Angry,
Lanna


Dear Self,
stop using semi-colons so much, it's like back when yu were addicted to elipses.
Now... STOP!

Annoyed,
Lanna

Dear legs,

Stop producing hair. Somehow, shaving isn't worth the time it takes when it grows back the next day.

Me.


Dear boy,

Please don't haunt my dreams like that. It makes me think of and hope for things that just can't ever happen.
On that note, we should probably stop sending each other Facebook flair that says how much we love each other unless you can take or have taken the hint that I totally mean it.

More love than you may think,
Me.

Dear MTV,

Please to be dying now? Ok, thanks! What makes you think Rocky Horror needs to be remade? What makes you think, High King of Suckitude TV that you could do it? What the hell are you thinking???? Seriously, lay down the crack pipe and step away from the classics.

Trying to hand you a clue,
Me

Dear co-workers,
I know that you're all just trying to be supportive of me, I've been going on for some time now about how I wanted to become a supervisor to help take some of the financial pressure off my husband. At first, the vote of confidence you were all giving me was so nice. But after this week I can't help but feel it was all a thinly veiled cover to the truth that you just don't much care for me anymore and the sooner I put in the letter, the sooner I get promoted. And that hurts, so much. We don't always get along and I'm not going to pretend I'm the best sorter ever, but some loyalty would be nice! I work my ass off, even when I'm sorting with those of you who near hate me so, you know, try to be less enthusiastic about the possibility of me leaving to go boss some other group of people around. I thought you at least respected me. Also, J, I know you were just trying to give my indecisive ass a gentle push towards giving N the letter, but really?! Thanks for the kick into the pit. You make me a sad panda.


Seeing the truth,
Mod

"ciao mia cara"

..mia cara meaning 'my beloved'
It's someone i've got to know through work... great guy.

its not much... but it made my day:

friend and i are driving in his car and i did a crazy laugh then we both started making fun of me for it haha
i tried really hard to re-enact the crazy laughter but i just couldnt get it right.
so i said 'i cant do it... i dont even know what i did'
then my friend said "you're not the kind of person who can fake laughter."
it was simple, made me smile. :)

some sweet little things my boy crush has said to me lately..

"I think I've fallen for you. let's just hope I don't land flat on my face"

"you're really beautiful, you know that, right?"

"I really want to kiss you right now"

"if I could do anything right now? I'd be snuggling with you"

"I love your voice. it's very sweet and soft and relaxing"

Dear fridge and kitchen in general,

Why are you so damn cold that you freeze my salad? After the chicken alfredo debacle (I can't get the taste out of my mouth!) I was hoping to munch on some nice veggies to clear my palate.

But NO, I pull out the container of salad to notice half of it had ICICLES ON IT! Thank goodness for the side that was still OK because I would have thrown a bitchfit had there been no salad.

Now all food just sounds gross to me because the kitchen is host to a small weevil family that somehow find their way into all my cereal and crackers (I think garlic wards them off because they haven't touched the croutons). This isn't helped by my roommate that has four open boxes of cereal that she never eats from because she thinks non-fat milk is making her gain weight when really it's probably all the fast food and Hamburger Helper (that I BUY AND COOK) she eats.

I just want to puke,
bigger_tigers


---------------------


Dear weevils in the kitchen,

GTFO!!!!!

Hate,
The girl who just wants her cereal without the extra protein

At my job, with every receipt that prints out, we're supposed to circle a survey at the bottom for them to fill out about how our service for them was during that transaction. Today had been a sort of mix-and-match day because we were understaffed and it seemed like a big frenzy. But somewhere along this afternoon, I told one woman about the survey and she just smiles and says:

"Well, I'm going to go right away and tell them that Jessica is a very wonderful and helpful employee, and that I'd love to see her around here again soon."
And when I said thank you, she said, "Oh, no. You deserve it!"


I was pretty proud of myself considering I can be a big doof at work.

Dear summer school and Mr. D,

    I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I've been through six weeks of hell with you with all the shitty teachers and your fake cheese pizza. And my current economics teacher, a World Bank simulation is NOT fun in any sense of the word, nor does it teach us ANYTHING! All it does is make me wanna sleep which I did today. Why can't we play games like monopoly or life like the other class is doing. And having you push your beliefs on us makes me hate you even more. Honestly, while I do feel sorry for places like Haiti and Tahiti and Africa, I don't want to hear the same damn thing ten times a day that they need help and we need to sacrifice our hard earned income (10%!) that we need to survive on to help them. Um, have you looked at the U.s. economy? It's not good, and most of us need every penny we earn just to keep surviving.
    And please, stop telling us that we are dumb and ignorant (not directly, but you act like it). Just 'cause you might not like it doesn't mean its stupid. Like the underwater dome proposal a friend thought of and I support. I think its a DAMN GOOD IDEA, and you just saying that it is preposterous and not saying why makes you sound stupid. And you support a moon colony? Who's the idiot now? I do NOT want to see this big coca-cola advertisement on my precious moon in the year 2020 (if we're even alive by then). And the Lunar Hilton? Dumbest idea ever. I love seeing the moon and the stars just as they are, and seeing humans destroying a virtually uninhabitable place makes me wanna cry. You would have to create a whole atmosphere and since it has no ozone, you'd be burned from the sun almost instantly. It is easier (and cheaper) to go underwater (for the purpose of agriculture) than it is to make a moon colony. Certainly, you dumb ass self can realize that.
    The reason we wanted the World Bank to support it is because if we had the rich people fund it, they would get richer and we DON'T  want that.

Currently wondering if you printed you degree of the internet,
    An annoyed unfortunate student who is so glad tomorrow is the last day

Dear older sis,

    Please, wash your dishes after you're finished with them. I hate washing 3 day old mac n' cheese bowls and spaghetti plates. Do you know how hard it is? If you cleaned them when you're done, which is really just putting a bit of soap in it and rinsing it out, it would save who ever does dishes a crap load of time. It takes about five minutes to scrub the dried on goop/noodles plus the 15 minutes of it soaking in near boiling water. And it would take you what, 5 seconds? 10 max? I personally don't care that you work 6 hours a day at a hot sticky amusement park, it only takes 10 seconds!
    And you chose to work park services janitor. You were offered games, but no you chose to go back, so suck it up. I hate hearing you bitch about how much you hate your job. ITS YOUR OWN DAMN FAULT!!!! I have no sympathy.
    Also, you can't draw, so I have no idea why you want to be a graphic designer. You don't have any passion for it, so again, why are you doing this? You'd make a better special ed. teacher, so why can't you stick with that?
  
Please stop giving me drawing advice. I have an art teacher and I can draw ten times better than you ever could.

Sincerely,
    Your irritated younger sis.

Dear bitch:
Thanks for fired my mom, you fucking bitch. Go die.
Watch your back bitch, cuz i am coming after you.
Angry:
Me.

Dear Youtube:
Fucking hurry up upload my video, god damn it.
It taking too damn fucking long.
Annoy:
me